Westwood Conveyancing

Xmas Jokes & Puns

Funny Jokes About Santa

• How much did Santa's sleigh cost? It was on the house.
• Which of Santa's reindeer are dinosaurs afraid of? Comet.
• Why is Santa scared of chimneys? Because he's claus-trophobic.
• How you can tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.
• What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
• What's Santa's favourite type of music? Wrap.
• Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt.
• Why does Santa go through the chimney? Because it soots him.
• What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
• How does Santa take pictures? With his Pole-aroid camera.
• What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A "Holly" Davidson.
• Why was Santa's little helper so sad? He had low elf-esteem.
• Who is Santa's least favourite reindeer? Rude-olph.
• Why did Santa go to the liquor store? He was looking for holiday spirits.
• What do you call Santa's little helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
• Why don't you ever see Santa Claus in the hospital? Because he has private elf care.

Cute Santa Jokes for Kids

• How does Santa take care of sick people? He nurses them back to elf.
• How did Santa's little helper stop eating cookies? He used elf control.
• What does Santa eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
• What do you call Santa when he's wearing ear muffs? Anything, he can't hear you.
• Where does Santa cash his cheques? At the snow bank.
• What's red and green and flies? A sleigh-sick Santa.
• Who delivers Christmas presents to cats and dogs? Santa Paws.
• What's big and jolly and says, "Oh, oh, oh"? Santa Claus walking backwards.
• Why does Santa have trouble spelling? He thinks the alphabet has Noel.
• What did Santa name his pet frog? Mistletoad.
• Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-hotel.
• How does Santa get his sleigh to fly? I have no eye deer.
• What's Santa's favourite potato chip? Kringles.
• What do Santa's elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
• What you get when you cross a duck with Santa? A Christmas quacker.
• What do you call a cat who works for Santa? Santa Claws.

Christmas & Santa Puns

• "You sleigh me."
• "Your presents is requested."
• "Hold on for deer life."
• "The Christmas alphabet has noel."
• "Yule be sorry."
• "I'm pine-ing for you."
• "I have the final sleigh."
• "Oh, deer."
• "All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies."
• “A mistle-toast to the holiday season.”
• "Sleigh, what?!"
• “I love you from head to mistletoe.”
• "You’re sleigh-in’ it."
• "It’s the most wonderful time for a beer."
• "Love at frost sight!"
• "Make it rein."
• "Sleigh queen, sleigh."
• "How rude-olf of you."
• "Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental."
• "You’re my soul Santa."
• "A round of Santa-plause, please."
• "Santa cleans his sleigh with Santa-tizer."
• "Claus I said so!"

Christmas Tree Puns

• "Time to spruce things up."
• "I’m feelin’ pine."
• "I’ll never fir-get."
• "These decorations are tree-mendous."
• "Fir sure."
• "Yes, I do consider myself a Christmas tree hugger."
• "You need to branch out."
• "Ready, set, glow."

Snow Puns

• "Snow time like the present."
• "You snow the drill."
• "Up to snow good."
• "Best in snow."
• "It’s snow joke."
• "Snow thank you."
• "As it snow happens."
• "Snow on and snow forth."
• "It takes one to snow one."
• "I'm snow bored."
• "He came, he thawed, he conquered."
• "This is snow laughing matter!"
• "I only have ice for you."

Elf Puns

• "Let’s take an elfie."
• "I’m elf-taught."
• "Don’t be elfish."
• "He’s an elf-made man."
• "She has high elf-esteem."
• "Treat yo'elf."
• "Let’s get elf-ed up."
• "Believe in your elf."
• "Have your elf a merry little Christmas."
• "Don't get caught elvesdropping on Santa!"
• "Get the elf out of here."

And remember …

Christmas, it’s the most wine-full time of the year!

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